Kinky
by leiasky
Summary: The crew's reaction to finding Kaylee handcuffed to the engine. Sequel to 'Handcuffs'. SimonKaylee


This is the sequel to a 'Handcuffs'. Best to read that first.**  
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**Kinky**

River was actually the first to make it to the engine room, a smile already on her face by the time Simon glanced over his shoulder and noticed his little sister watching he and Kaylee – again.

Mal was only a few steps behind River, having leapt out of bed quickly after the announcement that there was an emergency in the engine room. He was nothing if not a concerned Captain. His eyes narrowed when he noticed the position in which Simon had Kaylee pressed up against the engine. Anger flared as he remembered the last time he'd caught Kaylee in such a position in this room.

He'd offered her a job back then.

He briefly considered taking it away today.

"Jayne, that wasn't necessary," Simon gritted out through clenched teeth. The need he felt earlier to be nice to the man, in hopes he would leave, completely gone.

"Sure it was. Got me a good laugh."

Unfortunately for Simon, Kaylee's continued attempts to keep her legs wrapped around his waist only furthered to shimmy his pants further down his hips.

"Stop. Moving," Simon whispered urgently.

Kaylee caught his eyes and realized that part of her legs were now touching his bare skin and she nodded sheepishly, realizing that her fidgeting had caused the pants she'd unzipped to fall down his hips.

River floated past Jayne and took a few steps into the engine room, while Mal searched for something to say.

"Simon," River cocked her head at her boob of a brother and then glanced around the room. "Dangerous in here. Why are you engaging in this act in a room that has so many sharp parts?"

Simon rolled his eyes at his sister and frowned at Kaylee. "I tried to tell her that!"

"Didn't try hard enough."

Jayne laughed deeply. "Oh, I'm sure he's plenty –"

"Jayne!" Mal howled. "No need to finish that sentence."

River gazed sadly at her brother and then apologetically at Kaylee. "Not anymore."

"I clearly don't want to be knowin' how you know that, lil' Albatross," Mal said, glaring at the couple. He stepped around Jayne and even River to enter further into the room, his eyes catching a glint of metal where it shouldn't really be.

"Kaylee –"

"Don't say it, Cap," Kaylee squeaked as she noticed his eyes focusing on her cuffed hand.

"Are you –"

"Captain, please," Simon pleaded as Mal took another step toward them.

"Tian xiao de," Mal muttered as he finally got a good view of the handcuffs. "Can't you two keep the kinky sex-play confined to your _bunks_!"

"I wanted to," Simon said, his voice low.

Mal met Kaylee's eyes. "This is not a bedroom, despite how much you'd like to think of it as one. And the engine is certainly not a bed!" He turned burning eyes on Simon. "You, of all people, should know better than –"

"I know, Captain," Simon said dejectedly. "Can you please just get the key? It's on Kaylee's workbench."

"I'm of a mind to let you two squirm a bit." Mal leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Don't go punishin' Simon, Cap'n," Kaylee said meekly. "Was my fault –"

"I'm sure it was," Mal interrupted and glanced over at Simon, careful to keep his gaze above the man's neck. "Ever tell you how I met lil' Kaylee here?"

Simon groaned. "Many times, Captain."

"Good, best you don't forget it."

"Not any time soon, I assure you."

"Hey doc, how about steppin' away there, ya look mighty uncomfortable," Jayne called, laughter clearly evident in his tone. "Ow!" Jayne barked as Inara hit him.

"This key?" River was beside the couple a moment later, dangling it just out of her brother's reach.

"River –"

River cocked her head at Simon. "I don't like doing dishes."

To Kaylee, she said, "I don't like cooking either."

"Hey!" Mal cried when he realized what the genius was doing.

River glanced at the Captain. "Not my fault you didn't think of it first."

Mal scowled at her.

"No dishes," Simon echoed, fully understanding his evil sister's blackmailing intent.

"No cooking," Kaylee repeated a forlorn look on her face, hoping River would just hurry.

"For a month."

Simon gritted his teeth wanting just once to be able to get the upper hand on his psychic sister and embarrass _her_ for a change. But before he could answer, River's head swiveled toward him, a hint of a smile on her face. "Two months for that."

Simon pointedly ignored Kaylee's curious look and closed his eyes, muttering, "fine."

River dropped the key into Simon's outstretched hand and smiled happily. "See, that wasn't too painful."

Seemingly for the first time, Jayne noticed Kaylee's arm was attached to the engine casing. "No way!" he cried. "How'd I miss that? Doc, you're one kinky –"

Mal turned on his heel, annoyed with everyone now, and pushed Jayne out of the room, warning him with a stern look not to re-enter.

As Mal strode away and Inara and River made their way back to their bunks, Zoe waited patiently for the couple to re-arrange their clothes into a more appropriate position, keeping Jayne's view blocked as well. While Kaylee checked out her girl for any damage, Simon moved to the entrance, safe from any more handcuffing tricks Kaylee might decide to pull. He counted his blessings that nothing in the engine room had tried to damage him.

He glanced nervously at Zoe, whose eyes continued to dart between Simon and the engine and he swallowed nervously as she slid a hand around his arm and pulled him firmly out of the room. Glancing quickly at Jayne, she leaned closer to Simon and whispered, loudly enough for Jayne to overhear, "Next time you want to play with something you find lying around, ask, hmm? I was lookin' for those."

Simon's eyes nearly bugged out of his head and his jaw fell open as he stared at Zoe. Much to Zoe's amusement Jayne's expression was shockingly similar.

Zoe didn't smile, simply continued, glancing at Jayne. "I was looking forward to cuffing Jayne down. He likes to be dominated, you see." Zoe's eyes raked down Jayne's body and she allowed a small smile to spread across her face this time. "Never woulda guessed, huh doc?" Her head swiveled to Simon, whose expression had not changed. In fact, his mouth was flapping like a fish out of water, and Zoe now had a difficult time keeping a straight face. The man was an amazingly easy mark.

Zoe continued, still struggling to control laughing outright. "I wasn't happy with having to change my plans at the last minute." She reached around Simon and pushed Jayne toward the crew bunks. "Lets go, dear, we'll play cowboys and Indians tonight instead. The cuffs are a little too worn for my taste."

Once they'd gone, Simon shook his head in an effort to wipe the disgusted look off his face. "Oh, my god, I think I need to wash out my brain."

"Hmm, honey?" Kaylee popped out of the engine room and kissed his cheek. "Didja say somethin' about washin'?

"Yes. I need a shower. Badly. I feel really very dirty." Simon still hadn't been able to take his gaze away from where Zoe and Jayne had just gone.

Kaylee, oblivious to his distress, pressed herself up against him suggestively. "Well let's go then. I'll wash you and then you can wash me."

"Yeah." Simon said, distractedly, and allowed himself to be led to the showers, where he fully intended to wipe away the disgusting image Zoe had put into his mind by doing any and all kinky things Kaylee ever wanted to do – and then some.

END

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Chinese Translation:

Tian xiao de - in the name of all that's sacred

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